Mr. Doesn't Care

Pukawin mo ang natutulog kong damdamin,
Ng malagyan ng kulay ang kulay-abu kong salamin.
Ilapat maiinit mong labi,
At ng mapawi ang sakit at pighati.

Lahat naman tayo may nakaraan,
Minsan masaya -minsan gusto nating malimutan.
Ngunit sa kahit  anong paraan, Dapat natin unawain -di natin hawak ang kapalaran.

Marami na tayong pinangarap,
Ngunit hindi lahat nagiging ganap.
At kahit anong gusto nating makamtan,
Minsan mas makabubuting hahayaan nalang.

Adobo

Gusto nako magluto ug adobo,
Para sa akong feelings sa imo.
Pero mura man ug mahilaw,
Kay murag way klaro sa akong pagtan-aw.

Una akong itak-ang ang kalha,
Sama sa damgo nako nga ikaw na unta.
Butangan ug mantika,
Para naay meaning ang atong pagkita.

Sunod ilunod ang sibuyas nga naay dahon,
Para mawala ang langsa sa pait nga kagahapon.
Iapil nalang pud ang ahos,
Kay akong gugma nimo gahaguros.

Maghuwat tag pila ka minuto,
Lami kayo maghuwat labi nag para sa imo.
Dayon ilunod ang karne,
Ang akong feelings sa imo grabe.

Antuson ang pisik sa mantika,
Bahalag sakit kay mulabay rana.
Ang importante maluto ug samot,
Sama adtong akong gibati katong nakagunit kos imong kamot.

Ukayun ug tarong,
Atong feelings atong sagulon.
Huwaton nga maluto ang karne dayun butangan ug asukar,
Murag gugma sweet dili pwede ang sour.

Dayun butangan pud ug toyo,
Hinaot someday muingon kag I love you too.
Ug gamay suka,
Para ang feelings dili mawala.

Kung gusto ka pwede nato butangan ug pinya,
Mas lami siya kung pareha unta tang feelings duha.
Ibalhin ang adobo sa plato,
Dapat plastar para dili mayabo.

Ug dinhi nalang kutob,
Ako ng iserve ang adobo,
Sama sa gugma nga gi halad nako nimo.

Diary: Why

Why do I have to get hurt one after another?
Just why do I have to feel bad everytime I meet someone?
Why the fuck do I have to suffer?
I don't deserve this.
I have done nothing wrong.
I have lost faith in myself.
This wouldn't happen if you didn't leave.
None of this would happen if only I didn't meet you.
You promised.
You broke it.
I hate you.
I hate you more than my enemies.
I won't ever forgive you.
I swear I won't.

Smile

Her weapon is her eyes,
Her cute antics is very nice.
She's witty and wise,
Her smile is the most precious prize.

Her voice to my ear is an orchestra,
One of those that can heal a trauma.
So cute when she starts to speak,
I can even hear it in the Facebook chats she make.

If only I could win every battle I join,
If only I could edit this life like a file,
If only I could find a way to make you smile,
I would not hesitate to jump across the fire.

I never thought I'd long for her attention,
And I'm sorry if I become one misfortune.
Sometimes putting you in a difficult situation,
It's just my world is a small dimension.

I don't know how to make you feel better,
So here I write this very short letter.
I hope with this at least for a minute it can divert your attention,
Away from your frustrations and vexation.

Deaf

When we say we are enchained with our past,
We must have forgotten the key is just in our hands.
It's just we refuse to let of the memories we had,
Which actually just brings us disappoinment of what could have.

The "what if and could have beens",
Is a type of coping mechanism.
We tried to create inside our brain,
A world opposite of what's really happening,
Because there's a glimpse of hope we are wishing.

At the end of the day you'll be left with nothing,
But anger and hatred that succumbed your feelings.
The once array of light, shine, and glitters,
Has now become a dark clouds giving coldness.

Ever tired of seeing the same picture over and over?,
The thing is only few people has realized,
And will be able to move on.
Some has feelings became dull,
For they have tried, failed and will try again.

Is there really a combination for this life's secret?,
Or who knows and or where they hide it?.

If this life is a music,
It sometimes really get out of tune.
Or maybe I am not just a good performer,
Will do my best to dance with the music.
Even though sometimes I can't hear it,.

Diary 6/16/2018

Just had a long sleep since it's my rest day.
And I got this weird dream that actually makes sense.
I dreamt of my ex.
Yes I did.
The setting was in I.T. Park.
I chased her riding my scooter.
She was also riding one.
It's funny I did try to teach her how to drive a motorcycle in real life but she always cried.
She's always afraid or easily get scared.
And in the dream when I was able to finally caught up with her our rides suddenly became a bicycle.
It(the scooter)  did turn into a bicycle when I stopped her.
And in the dream I kissed her.
Which after I did she told me the kiss has no love in it.
And I replied "No, There's no love at all because I already became what you wanted me to be."
Then she walked away.
In the dream I had to choose to stay with her or forget everything.
And I chose the latter.
That was a rare dream where I was able to make the right choices I would in real life.
It seems on that dream I have total control.
That was a weird dream but actually makes sense.

Ending Scene

Kasabay ng huling eksena sa isang pelikula,
Ay ang pag baba ng kurtina.
Na tila ba'y tinatakpan ang mga artista,
Tinatago ang and dating masaya nilang mukha.

Tapos na kasi ang palabas,
Di na kelangan manatili at magsayang ng oras.
Ang mga tao dapat ng magsipag uwian,
Tapos na ang lahat di na maibabalik ang nakaraan.

Nakakatuwang isipin,
Yung minsan dahilan ng pag-gising.
Ay naging dahilan kung bakit,
Ikaw ngayon ay lasing.

Lilipas din ang mga araw,
At ang ligaya'y unti unting maaagaw.
Mapapalitan ng lungkot,
Ang masayang mukha magiging simangot.

Ito and ending scene,
Minsan matagal pero di maiiwasang darating.
Mapalad ka kung sa huli ika'y maaalala,
Kadalasan kasi nababaon at nalilimutan ang mumunti nyong ala-ala.

Wala na lahat ng tao umuwi na,
Ikaw nalang ang natira.
May pag pipilian ka din naman,
Uuwi din at dadalhin ang natirang ala-ala,
O mananatili kasi baka may sequel pa.

Ingat lang sa sequel kasi minsan nag i-iba ng bida,
Baka yung inaantay mong artista,
Di mo na makikita,
Kasi yung hinahanap mo sa kanya nasa iba pala.

Hakbang Pasulong

Sarap mabuhay at umibig,
Pero wala ng sasarap pa sa matamis mong tinig.
Na wari'y parang haplos sa aking likod,
Mainit, ramdam ko ang sarap bawat hagod.

Heto nanaman yung mga ngiti mo namang nakakahumali,
Parang ini-imbitahan din akong ngumiti.
Di maiiwasan at nakakahawa,
At dahil jan akoy ngumiti rin at sumaya.

Andito lang ako,
Di naman ako mawawala.
Gawin mo na kung kuya, papa at kahit ano pa,
Tatangapin ko makasama lang kita.

Sapat na sakin ang nahawakan ko ang iyong mga kamay,
At sinandal mo ang iyong ulo sa aking balikat.
Sarap sa pakiramdam na para bang ako ay karapat dapat,
Na mag alaga sayo, ang mga saglit na sandaling iyun ay sapat.

Alam ko namang impossible,
Pero ang umasa kasi ay libre.
Okay lang makalimutan mo pag-gising,
Pag di kana tulog at hindi kana lasing.

Ngayon ako'y matutulog na,
Tatlong minuto pa bago matapos itong huling kanta.
Ang init ng panahon,
Pero bakit makakapal na ulap lang ang nakikita ng aking mata.

The G, C, Em, and D song

This is a song created last 2009 when I was in college, Found it when i was cleaning my files. The chords and lyrics are just simple and repetitive but still catchy.


Intro: G, C, Em, D

G           C
You cry and weep,
Em        D
Alone in the street.
G           C
I gave my hand,
    Em        D
We touched for once.


G           C
I've been inspired
Em        D
Eventhough it's hard.
G           C
Cause your past is dark,
Em        D
Lost it's spark.

         G C Em D
Oh marry me.


Chorus:
G     C 
Marry Me...
Em    D
Come with me..
G            C
Together we'll flee
Em           D
Cause cruel are they..

G    C
Save  me..
Em    D
Bring me..
G                C
Forever To your side.
Em     D     c
Cause I love you..



Refrain:

G                      C
FALL!! just fall from the heaven
Em          D
Cause I'm here..
G                C
I'm  walking on the street alone,
Em              D
You came in to my sight.
G                   C
A light that shines through the dark,
Em        D
Of my days...

Repeat Chorus:

Diary: 6/7/2018

Self:

I have given up eating sweets, no more ice cream, coke, alcohol and pastries.
I had been eating no fat just meat but last week I took it to the next level.
I started strict diet eating heavy meals only at times I need to spend much strength.
It has just been a week and it's hard but I can already see the results.
I can't imagine what will it be like next summer or at the end of the year.




Social:

I can say I have moved on. I can't feel pain when I look at our old pictures anymore. I also was able to laugh at my colleagues' joke about my previous relationship as well as add something to it for us to laugh even more. It's just a matter of time. What's more annoying was one of the people I met. It seems I was able to make the right decision not to court her. It's really best not to rush and know a person first rather than making a hasty and senseless decision. That method is wasteful but never been wrong. On the other hand there's this cute little morena who talks and acts like she is the biggest man in the house. It's so cute when she does that. Sad thing is she is always depressed at night. I'm not sure if she has a lot of bad experiences. I wish I could help, I tried knowing her better but I guess still the door is closed. Kung mabasa ni nimo don't worry I'm just here. Dili jud ko mawala, tawga lang ko.




Future:

I started my plan to have a house. But I can't afford it yet though I plan to get one far away from the city, It is cost efficient for me since I have a motorcycle and price is preferable than getting one in the city proper. A simple house will do, I am more interested with the lands value for it increase as time passes by, number of people living, accessibility. We know a rural place will eventually become a city so better to invest early.

Faded

Erased by a moment of silence,
Each memories of you.
The once as hot as spice can never be lit up twice,
If ever I miss a thing, Do the honor and remove it too.

We don't really need a string that binds us, do we?
Let's cut it off, Shall we?
We should both move to the opposite directions,
For I have lost my will and intentions.

The once strong feeling I have,
Has become a dying candle light.
This whistling sound of wind needs to stop.
And the purest intentions,
Has been daunted by malicious interpretation.

Pride, distrust, and hesitation,
Lead our feelings to regret and suffocation.
Chained us to opposite walls,
Destroyed our love and emotions.

And though we thought we tried,
There's a lot more that we didn't.
We'll just look up to the stars,
And wake up deluded.

Tomorrow morning is another day,
Another false hope of happiness.
Until when will this end?,
Not until I'll find someone that will let me feel wanted.

#OnWards